Moving, Contemplating And The In between Things

There seems to be a strange rhythm, a method to moving. I know. I’ve moved many times in my life, often times every year for years when I was young.

The frenzy of packing and organizing, attempting to meticulously keep things in their category. As time seems to drag on and deadlines approaching, you blatantly begin throwing whatever your hands come across into whatever empty box is left over just to get it into its moving place. By the near end, there is the in between - this strange and quite mist that seems to settle as you live the in between life. The one that is yet to come that envelopes your thoughts and the one you currently live. The home that surrounds you that you are destined to leave, and the one that awaits you, beckoning your mark.

I stand here with fidgeting hands on a blistering cup, staring at all the empty spaces that were once filled with pieces of our lives. Furniture covered in white sheets, naked windows missing their curtains and floors that little feet learned how to walk upon whipped clean.

What will become of all the places we touched, once we are no longer are here to touch them? The hiding places with no tiny giggling bodies to hide in them? Will the land remember the sound of little dairy goat hoof beats? Will the tall oak that I married at remember the love that was vowed beneath it? How a small boisterous boy would wrap his arms around its magnanimous trunk and sit atop his mothers shoulders to pick acorn for his goats. Will the apple trees bare as many fruit for a new and hoping heart? Will the garden resound and recite the ecos of exuberant quacks? All of the things that dash through a contemplative mind as we prepare to leave the only place we’ve ever known.

My son.

So brave and adventurous. How glad I am that he inherited at least that from me. I may feel the slight sting of “what if’s” however, I have always been one to great changes with excitement for creating in the unknown. He shows no sign of hesitation or reserve for this home that he was born into. His faith is strong that all that should be will be and for that I praise him.

There was a bout of stress I was experiencing for a short time during this experience attempting to keep old routines with new daily tasks however, reminding myself that we are meant to flow and bend I put rigidity aside with more grace and flexibility. I too had to remind myself that my son will relive these days as a much older person and more often than not, we as parents are writing that story.

My father has fallen a bit ill as of late. We aren’t sure at this point if it is something quite serious or simply nothing. It looms over us at times but, feeling positive, we have decided to carry on as best we can in love and fortitude as if the outcome is already decided for the better.

Though I feel surprisingly at peace with it all, there is still the most important task to complete. The animal trailer. First set of nesting boxes is installed and ready to go, waiting for another row, as well as duck section and goat stall towards the back. As promised, I will attain as much content as I can on that for anyone looking to attempt such a feet. I was hoping to have a skylight installed for natural light on the 37 hour drive, however with funds being drained on multiple trips to drop off items and purchase lumber for animal housing, we suffice to two strip lights hanging above.

I’ve been quite distant from my life on social media. I haven’t quite gotten a grasp on how some folks navigate like and stream line it so effortlessly. I always tell myself to film all the things and create amazing content but the truth is, my craving for peace overtakes me and I simply end up prioritizing it. Not that that’s bad - just bad for the presence I assumed I wanted. It has been much easier to find time to simply speak openly and candidly here in this space. Perhaps one day I’ll figure out how to be a multi tasker.

All in all we are getting through, perhaps messier than we’d hoped and with much less elegance that either of us expected, but with high spirits and stars in our eyes.