One Foot Forward

Six years -

that’s how long we have held the dream of Montana.

It seems like a lifetime ago. A year before I felt our son move within me, before dreams that were never thought of came to fruition since we last stepped foot in big sky country. It seemed no matter how close we came to our goal, not matter how hard we pushed towards the dream of planting roots in Montana, doors and windows shut upon every opportunity. I’d be lying if I said it weren’t enough for me to be angry with God. I was doing everything right, (so I thought), and still he denied me the one thing I thought would truly make us complete as a family. It wasn’t until I began to let go. To ask myself if I were yet the person capable of handling such a blessing with humility and grace. Till I started working harder on myself and using my “spare moments” to learn more about my dream life and seek Him more than other things that everything began to shift and light began to shine through the broken cracks of a vacant dream, stored high up in the dusty attic of my mind.

There are times friend, where life creates the illution that we may never seek what we yearn for. Where attainment seems so dim, that easier to turn back than to fall into the unknown.

But the unknown is where creation begins. For how can we be the artists, the illustrators and creators upon a canvas that we know so well as to commit to memory. Splattered with the paints of the past and colors now muddied by overlap.

One foot forward, and then another-

Let Him guide you to journey onward to new beginnings.

We bounced back and forth this year, almost falling victim to temptation and impatience on where to move. Affordability in the South was quite obvious however, every time I found myself writing down property information I felt as if I were falling into the deepest precipice. Tensions were high as I wished my husband would just TELL me what was to happen.

Wifes, be weary of this. It was wrong of me to seek comfort and clarity from my husband in this way. In all my doubt there is only One that can settle the storms within you and that comes from no man; but the voice of the one who can calm the raging seas within is capable of coming from your husband. When I became aware of my actions, I asked my husband simply to consult with God. To pray on guidance and ask for direction.

One month later (a week ago) He came to me and said, “We are moving to Montana before this winter.” The peace that came over me could only be surpassed by my curiosity. When I asked how he came to this decision, he said “our son”. I realized how much we must have spoken this into existence by how much our son speaks about it as if it were now. Recently he has picked up in volume, the questions about when we will be moving there. About all the adventures he is to have and all the horses he is to ride. It’s an amazing thing to bare witness what purity you can spark within your children by merely allowing yourself to be a child when it comes to your aspirations. I can feel myself now, in that dusty wood attic- the smell of nostalgia and old linen, ripping wide the curtains to allow hope to flow in once more. There is so much talk now. Even about a weekend flight to step foot on potential property. My heart can barely contain itself within my chest.

I have so many goals, so many big ideas to share with all of you who have come to be so interested in our ventures- in our lives. I feel this could be the beginning of so many things, to be able to share with you is so beautiful and I feel so grateful to be on this amazing adventure with you all.